Fair Share?

While it's been a while since I've posted anything, it doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about the state of the nation.

There is a movement afoot, to make the country's wealthiest citizens actually pay their fair share. Of course, there is a lot of backlash to this idea....mostly from the wealthy and their supporters. After all, let's face it, $1 million a year just doesn't go as far as it used to.

If this legislation passes, hedge fund managers, professional athletes, and other wealthy individuals would have to pay as much as their servants do. The consequences of this would be far reaching indeed.
Given the fact that the country was built by slavery, it seems unpatriotic that we would force a fair tax on those that provide the jobs. Servants, gardeners, and general household help all have jobs, thanks to the generosity of the rich. As they are, for the most part, illegal citizens, they can be paid far less than the minimum wage. The idea that servants should make more than that, goes against the very tenets of our society.

Forcing the wealthy to pay their fair share would cause havoc in their ranks. Imagine a millionaire not being able to buy his fourth seaside mansion, having to actually drive himself to an important meeting, or having to mow his own lawn. There is a long established rule that the wealthy don't have to suffer, due to their campaign contributions. Must the wealthiest Americans have to live like the rest of us, or will they once again, be able to gain the perks they so richly deserve?
It would be wise for all Americans to contribute any extra cash to those that take us for granted, for if we don't, the economy will collapse, and the wealthy will take it out on us!


Heaven help the rich bitches!!

The Lord Sayeth WHAT??

I happened to be watching the news the other morning, and saw a video clip about a new translation of the Bible. Apparently, some people are upset that there is any other translation other than the King James version, with all the "thee's, thou's, and that sort of thing. I would contend that if you're going to read something like that, it should be in modern language to keep you at least semi-interested in what you are reading
After all, when you are sitting in a restaurant, does the waitress ask "wouldst thou like another Diet Coke?" Of course not! The "Kings English" is ancient history anymore, and language has evolved considerably since the days of yore.

The problem with today's English, is that there are now several "versions" of it. There is the language most of us speak, and "Ebonics", spoken by many blacks. Ebonics is a more colorful way of speaking, and usually more profane than everyday English.

So, my question is: When will they translate the Bible into Ebonics? It might take a while, due to the changes in some of the phrases from time to time, but it would be an interesting endeavor. To test this theory, I have translated an old Bible story about Moses and the burning bush. It goes as follows:

Da Book ob Cleophus, Chapter sebben, verse foty sebben

Moses be stylin' through de desert on foot, because his Broham done got jacked. De sun be shinin' down on him, and he be jonesin' fo a foty or two to cool his ass down. All of a sudden, he done sees a burnin' bush in front ob he ass. He be fussin' ober dat bush when a loud voice be callin' he name.

Lord: "Moses, wat up dawg? Don't be no pussy, walk through dat bush!
Moses: "Who dat??"
Lord: "It am me, dawg, I da Lord!
Moses: "Is you shittin' me dog, 'cuz if you is, I'll pop a cap in yer ass"
Lord: "No dawg, it be me, now come on and walk through dat fire!"
Moses: "So you really da big pimp?"
Lord: "I'm sayin"!
Moses: "No shit?"
Lord "I da man, dawg!" "I gotcho ass, dawg, do it"
Moses: "Dat fire hotter dan a five dolla ho!"
Lord: "C'mon, dawg, I ain't got all day, Soul Train be on soon"
Moses: "Okay, if you da big pimp, den you don't be shittin, so here I goes"!

Moses be wakin' thu da fire, and burn he feet to shit.....

Moses: "Damn, Big Pimp, you wuz jivin' me! Now I gotta jack me anudder car, 'cuz I sho can't walk nowhere!"
Lord: "Fool, you da third one I done got today!!"

So you see, Bible translation can be done in Ebonics as well, and quite colorfully at that. I would bet that old King James would love it!

Prescription Conniption!

Years ago, my first job was working at a drug store some distance from my home. My job consisted of stocking shelves, ordering stock, and waiting on customers. There were times when I would assist the pharmacist when he was filling prescriptions. He would read the "'script", find the medicine called for, and then count out the pills and put them in a container. Lastly, he would type up the label on an old typewriter, affix the label to the container, and either call the customer to pick the prescription up, or have me deliver it. In all, the entire process took roughly 5 minutes, from start to finish. These were the days before computers, where everything was done by hand. The store kept a good stock of medicine, and at the time, there were few new treatments available. Everything was tried and true, and was dispensed quickly and efficiently.

Fast forward to 2011. I recently had to obtain a prescription from our local WalMart pharmacy. We have our prescription coverage card on file there, so we usually use them. I handed the "'script" to the clerk, and was told there would be a half hour wait. I thought that wasn't too bad, owing to the fact that is was approaching a weekend, and people needed their medicine before going off traveling or whatever. Seconds before I left the counter, the clerk told me I could "shop until it was time to pick up my medicine". I left, as I really did have a few things to pick up, and returned about 30 minutes later. There were a number of people in line by that time, waiting for their medicines. Nothing seemed to be happening, until an employee came out to check on who was waiting (I swear she had a name tag like "Crayola" or something!). Eventually, I got the medicine and checked out. The entire process had taken closer to 45 minutes. Still, I had obtained what I needed, and was glad to be headed home.

A few days later, I once again had to pick up medicine at WalMart. When I arrived, there was no one waiting, no one ahead of me. I figured that it would be a quick and painless trip. Was I ever wrong! I was told it would be 45 minutes to an hour before my pills would be ready. Once again, I was told I could shop until it was time to pick them up. After 40 minutes, I headed back to the counter, only to be told that the pills weren't ready yet, and I could shop until they were. Was this a joke? If I left the store to shop somewhere else would I be punished? I returned to the bench in front of the pharmacy to wait, while I watched "The People of WalMart" parade by. Finally, after over an hour, my pills were ready to pick up.

As I was sitting there on the hard steel bench, my mind wandered back to the days of old, before computer efficiency, when a single pharmacist could fill multiple prescriptions in short order, and do it correctly to boot! What has happened? Is the world slowing down as we age faster, or has technology thrown a roadblock in the path of progress?

Yes, there seems to be a bit more to filling a prescription these days, but hell it's still just counting pills. How hard can that be? Is it all about serving the customers, or milking them for every last cent? You've got to wonder........!

The Need for ...GREED!

Yet another season of auto racing has begun, and, like the last one, it's not about competition, but about the money. Oddly enough, we have also seen the 100th running of the Indianapolis 500 this year. What is great about this is that the first winner of the race, Ray Haroun is well documented in text and photographs. The quintessential photo of him in his car, the Marmon Wasp, shows a man with an extra ordinary smile. It's part smile, part smirk. Why? Because he won the race, and enjoyed doing so.

Today's sports figures are in it for the money. No thrill of competition, no glory of being the best, it's all about the Benjamins. It's sad to see a competitive sport on any level become just a means of making money. The thrill of victory gives way to the thrill of a six-figure salary. Is this what our forefathers envisioned? What ever happened to competition, just for the sake of competing? Nearly all professional sports have become huge cash-intensive endeavors. The price of tickets to these events has climbed so high that the average fan can't afford to attend.

NASCAR is the poster boy for this trend. For several years now, race attendance has dwindled. Is it perhaps that the ticket prices are too high, or is it the constant barrage of merchandise (all NASCAR branded) that assaults attendees? It seems that the only thing that's important is making money.
For example, the just completed All-Star race was not marketed as a race itself, but as a "Who's going to win the million dollars?" event. Is the cash that important?

Think back to when we were young, and played games for the fun of it. Baseball, football, basketball were not compensated in any way other than the good time you had, and bragging rights You had no lawyer to protest the fact that you weren't chosen to play first base. You just went out there and did it for the fun of it.

That spirit still exists in the thousands of Softball leagues, beer leagues, and other such endeavors. People playing for the fun of it, no huge cash payouts, just fun. Perhaps if professional sports would follow that philosophy, the fans would start to return. Or, have the fans had enough?

The End??

The right wing Christian nutjobs have somehow figured out that Saturday, May 21st is the day the world as we know it, ends. Why a Saturday, and not a Sunday is beyond me. However, they believe that Christ is going to show up on that day, and take only "the good people" off the Earth and into Heaven. Why not on a weekday?

I envision this event like some sort of a dark drama. The background music is the Doors song "The End" J.C. would be dressed in jeans and a white T-shirt, with a pack of Camels rolled up in the sleeve, and one lit cigarette dangling from his lip. He would perhaps be wearing leather chaps, and motorcycle boots to further flesh out this fantasy. His hair styled in a duck tail, beard shaved clean. He walks with a swagger, one hand clutching the motorcycle jacket tossed over his shoulder. Much like Santa Claus, he must go to every home. Also like Santa, he knows if you're naughty or nice! Of course you want to leave something out for his arrival, but I don't think that milk and cookies are going to fill the bill. Perhaps a 6-pack of Becks, and a carton of Camels would be the choice for the devout, while a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and a half eaten bag of generic potato chips, would suffice for those that haven't been so good. After all, if the guy's gonna send you to hell, you sure don't want to waste your good beer on him!

The real dilemma here is that people in other countries don't see this as a valid event. Only American crackpots believe this will happen. Does this mean that if you leave the country on Friday, and come back on Sunday, you skate? How cool would that be?

And how do you determine who's going? Looking back at the "10 Suggestions", nearly all the "devout Christians" are kicked off the bus, for failure to obey them. Republicans, as a rule are such dicks that they wouldn't be invited either. That leaves just a handful of "good" people holding tickets! This hardly seems like J. C.'s trip would be worth the bother. Would the people in other countries laugh at our plight? Would they send foreign aid to us poor slobs? Would the "Big Guy" shaft us like that?

You have to wonder where this idea came from, but then again you have to laugh at all the so-called "Devout" that think they are better than the rest of us. We're all in this world together, and depend on each other to make our way. If anything, the common people who admittedly aren't perfect would be the chosen ones. All you "Holier Than Thou" folks had better stock up on Marshmallows for the afterlife!

The 10 suggestions

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I've seen the future....and I'm scared!

I know I'm always making fun of the Doomsday Believers, the people who think the "New World Order" will take over, and those kooky folks that believe that the Federal government can cause an earthquake with radio waves. I mean, it just sounds wacky to hear these theories based on nothing more than imagination..that is 'till I had a dream....

We had watched the movie "Get Smart" recently, (My favorite TV show when I was younger) and for some reason, i had a dream about the comedy film. While I don't remember much about the dream itself, I do remember seeing "Hymie the Robot" just before I woke up. As I lay there trying to lose the fog that surrounded my poor little mind, I thought to myself Hymie the ANDROID. All of a sudden, my mind became a whirl of activity. The fetid swamp that is my brain started to put together a few facts, and a pattern came out.

It just so happens that Google created an operating system called Android. Google, as you know, has darn near every bit of information in the known universe on it's servers, all of it processable in micro-seconds. Plus, Google has created, and is testing an automobile that is completely driver free, it can make decisions based on information from sensors, and from data from Google. Could the next step possibly be a real life android?

I would imagine a meeting with the latest Google creation would go something like this:

A middle aged woman hurries through a shopping mall, trying to purchase something before work. In her haste, she runs into a handsome looking man, and he catches her just before she falls.

MAN: Hello, I tried to move out of your way, but failed. Are you alright?
WOMAN: Yes I'm fine. I guess I didn't see you there.
MAN: That's quite alright. Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Andy Droid, the latest Google creation.
WOMAN: You're a robot?? Wow, you sure are good looking! My name's Jane,
Jane Smith.
ANDY: (through the magic of his 4G interface, Andy streams information from
the Google servers). I'm pleased to meet you!
Andy: You do look a bit different than your Facebook profile photo.
Jane: How did you happen to see my photo?
Andy: As I said before I'm a Google android, and I have access to all your
information
Jane: Wow, that's amazing! I must admit that I have had some work done
and it has changed my appearance a little. Just minor stuff, really.
Andy: Yes, I'm reading your medical records here, and I see you've had your
nose done, had liposuction on your thighs, and had your boobs enlarged.
Jane: (blushing) What??!!
Andy: (laughing) I see you've also had your butt lifted. By the price they charged
you, they must have had to use some heavy equipment to do it!
Jane: (Turning red) That's a little too much personal information!
Andy: Nonsense! Besides, you'll look great in that little outfit you just ordered
online from Victoria's Secret! Of course, Tyra Banks looked better in it!
Jane: OK, that's enough; Goodbye!
Andy: Nice to meet you Jane Smith. By the way, your husband Frank won't be
home for dinner tonight. His secretary Miss Jenkins just reserved a table
and room for the two of them at the Chez Burger for this evening. You should see what she's
wearing!
Jane storms away in a total rage, while Andy waits for another encounter!

We know that our online life, and any portion of it that's transmitted electronically, isn't safe from the prying eyes of Google.
Now I don't want to sound like a nutjob, but if they can build a car that doesn't need people to do it's thing, how long before they can can create an android, and take over the world???

Think about it!!