Life in the Poor Lane

Now that we're rolling along in this new year, I have to wonder just what's really new. Yes, the numbers read 2010, but it's really the same crap as last year, and the year before, and the year before that. As a matter of fact, I have yet to see anything truly new as of January 1st.

The common thought is that everything's brand new at the stroke of midnight. Well, nothing could be further from the truth. We are in the same boat that 2009 left us in! The world is in the same state of turmoil, our money (what we have of it) doesn't buy much, and the cost of living keeps rising. How is that a new year??

There is no magic incantation said at the stroke of midnight that in any way erases the past year. We're doomed to continue on, saddled with the baggage from the previous year, and things continue on as we left them. How does this make it a new year? If I were in charge, I'd damn sure change things!

First, I'd call a cease fire around the world. I really don't care about what sort of an agenda people have. Sit down, talk it over and try to reach some sort of compromise! Quit yer 'friggin fighting already!

Secondly, I have to wonder what's up with all this "luxury" stuff. Haven't we damn near killed off the middle class? We try to achieve a better life for our families, but end up falling short, and further from our goal. If success in life is measured by what you have, can you still be successful with second hand junk?

The world we live in today, can't even measure up to what our parents had. Inflation is so bad, we're just posers, and that's what has put many people in so much debt. Learn to live with what you've got people, and if you don't have it, buy it second hand! We can no longer afford the good things in life, but we can if they're slightly used, on sale, or greatly marked down!

Thirdly, we don't need the government dictating our lives, at the behest of the paying contributors. When you examine the cost of a new car (which most of us can't afford any more), you'll find items the insurance lobby had legislators add.

If we don't want the cost of airbags must we have them? Stability control....do we need it, if we're paying attention while we drive? Both these things, and so many more, are added to the cost of a new car. Even a tiny change to a model, bumps the cost. With the average cost of a new car close to $30K, how many can afford one? When the Indian car maker Tata came up with the idea of a $2500 car, I got excited! finally a car for the rest of us!

That's what's so sad; we are no longer a prosperous people, we've sunk to a third world status.

Where will it end? Will we ever get our middle class status back again? I guess we'll all have to wait!

"Hey, Hey, throw 'Em away!"

I wrote my last blog about the late Jan Gabriel, the man who gave us "SUNDAAAAYYYYY, Sundaaay, Sunday!". I first heard that phrase on a commercial for US 30 dragstrip near where I grew up. It got me thinking on yet another tangent, about how we acquire things in life, only to discard them.

US 30 was a HUGE deal back in the 1960's. It was a mecca for not only racers, but spectators. Admission wasn't terrible, and we could afford to attend the races there without a problem. In fact, we could race our own cars there if we had the right equipment for safety! Over the years, thousands attended the races each season, yet after a while, the commercials went away, and we forgot about the track. It was just a memory, no doubt turned into yet another strip-mall in the suburban jungle.

Then, one day during a conversation with a friend, we were remembering our days at the track, when he mentioned "you know, it's still there"! This got my curiosity going, thinking I had to see the track one more time in all it's glory. Extensive searching of Google Earth finally showed me where the site was, and one Saturday morning, we left out to find it. It's still there, overgrown and decaying, but it still exists. No one had bought the site, nor cared for it, and it sat there, a sad remembrance of our past.

Upon moving to Arkansas, I found another major attraction that was left to decay. Dogpatch (later Dogpatch USA) lies just South of Harrison Arkansas on Highway 7. A once thriving attraction, drawing people from all over the country, it sits sullenly clinging to the side of a hill, just waiting to rot into dust. Investors were reported to have spent 26 million dollars to get the park up and running, yet by 1993, it closed, never to re-open. It's there today, as if it were poised for the new season, but overgrown and decaying. I have to ask, who would walk away from an investment of that magnitude? As hard as I've had to work for my money, I couldn't imagine owning something, and then walking away from it. It just seems so wasteful! Land is expensive, and to own land is part of the American dream. Who in their right mind would just walk away?

I guess it's reality, as over the past few years, I've seen way too many abandoned homes and businesses here. People just walk away from their hopes and dreams, and leave them to decay. I 'm amazed at this, and find it hard to understand. Everything has to be worth something, to just leave it seems wasteful.

Look at the town of Rush, Arkansas.
That's the General Store\Post Office in the photo. It's now owned by the National Park Service, but the buildings that are left, were just abandoned by their owners, as the town declined. It's hard to believe that the hard work and money required to buy the land and build the structures, is not important to the former owners.

I guess the real reason for this blog today, was to focus on just what a "throw away society" we've become. Don't need it? Just toss it and get something else! It all boils down to the fact that many people have (or seem to have) an unlimited supply of cash to do what they wish with. If something doesn't work, or work the way they want, it's forgotten as they move on.

So where is this blog going? Well, the last time we were up in Branson, I couldn't help but notice a growing number of vacant buildings along the strip. Signs still graced the properties, calling to visitors, yet the shops themselves were empty, abandoned by their owners. I wonder how long before Branson becomes another Dogpatch, or worse yet, another Rush?

On The Radio

I've debated for a long time over what I wanted to write next, work got in the way, and nothing got done. That changed today, when I saw an article in the former Hammond (IN) Times (now "The Times") about the death of a local disk jockey.

Jan Gabriel died from kidney disease at age 69. I remember he had the early evening shift at WJOB, and seemed to be on every night. He had a sense of "big city cool" but was always a local boy. To me, that was important. Chicago was the big market back in the '60's, with names like Dick Biondi, Barney Pip ("Turn into peanut butter!"), Ron Brittain, Larry Lujack, and more. The trouble was, they seemed to be so different to me. They spoke of "big city" events I would never go to, and sell products we would never see where we lived.

Chicago was about 40 miles North of where I grew up, but it could have been 1000. It was another world!

WJOB was more local, even though at the time, Hammond was a HUGE city in my mind also. Why heck, the Goldblatts store even had elevators, with men stationed inside to operate them!

This was amazing to me!

Gabriel represented the best in a small town radio DJ; just as good as the large market guys, but with a tinge of local flavor.

I remember the on the air contests he'd put on, and winning a record album on the show. Speaking to him on the phone (from a pay phone booth in downtown Hammond), and hearing that I had won, was the coolest thing I had ever done. It was my touch with celebrity!

In the late 60's, all the area stations did commercials for a local racing venue called "US 30 Dragstrip". It was Southeast of Hammond, just off US 30, hence the name. The commercials would begin with a manic beat, while the announcer would scream "Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAAAAAY, at Beautiful US 30 Dragstrip"! He would then go on to announce the stars that would be there (and there were many), from the "Little Red Wagon", to Art Arfon's "Green Monster Jet".

Being a normal teenager in the '60's, we read more hot rod magazines than textbooks. The siren call of the announcer was all it took to inspire us to head to the track. Later in life, I learned that the "SUNDAAAY!" announcer was in fact Jan Gabriel. I thought back to all the good times he brought us on the radio, and made a mental note to keep tabs on him. I felt a kinship with him, as he was a local boy, doing a job I always wanted to do.

Sadly, I never got the chance to go into broadcasting, choosing a career with the Post Office, and ultimately staying there for nearly 40 years. Over time, the changes in my life, the music, and the station's format, made me tune away from WJOB, but I never forgot Jan. I can still recall the sound of his voice, and how he sounded like a neighbor, not a stranger, speaking to me every night from the radio.

Later, I would connect with my past when I heard the song "On the Radio" by the band "Cheap Trick". It summed up my youth to a T, and ended with that same frantic DJ patter I used to hear. And when I hear it to this day, the one voice I always think of is that of Jan Gabriel.

Rest in peace, Jan, and thanks for a lifetime of memories!

It's on the radio...!

Bringing back the Past

We have watched NASCAR racing for a number of years now, and I have to wonder just how long the entire "show" is going to last.

NASCAR first came to life 50 years ago, when there were major manufacturers willing to put their cars up against the competition to see who was best. This was a win-win deal for the consumers. A car that was strong, a car that was aerodynamic, a car that was a clear winner, all paved the way for strong sales after the race.

All the manufacturers had an ace up their sleeve, be it power, reliability, brakes, or speed. That's what makes racing interesting. Who can produce the car that can conqueror Talladega, or Daytona? Hudson, Packard, Studebaker, Oldsmobile, Pontiac, and all the others worked tirelessly to improve their offerings. The mindset was "win on Sunday, sell on Monday". The same 200 MPH cars that you saw at the track, were available in the local dealer's showroom, or at least, could be ordered there.

As time went by, the cars that you could buy in real life faded away, replaced by NASCAR's universal car. No more individuality would be tolerated, no bigger engines, no slicker aero packages. Now, the playing field had to be leveled. All the cars had to be the same, motors, bodies, and equipment. Where is the spirit of competition here? There are so many rules in place that the cars are all clones of each other, and the driver that stays awake 'til the end is declared the winner.

The trouble with NASCAR racing is, that it's obsolete. There are no more cool, fast cars, thanks to Government regulations, and insurance companies. There are no "stock" cars. We're all doomed to drive crappy four-door compacts, and engine output is less important than the number of cupholders the car offers. What we see on the track, is a fantasy, something we can't have, much less drive down the road. We're doomed to cheer on a driver only, not what he (or she) drives.

The years have been good to NASCAR, and now they should be good to the fans. Stop restrictor plate racing, for starters. Either you race, or you don't, but let's not force drivers to draft in order to get ahead. It usually results in a disaster, as drivers try to move up in the field.

Let's also get rid of "the car of tomorrow". These cars don't exist in the dealerships across the country, so why should we watch them race? Let's get real stock cars out there! All the flaws, weak motors, and handling problems will shine through the hype, and people can see just what the manufacturers are offering.

And lastly, with the auto industry catering to "soccer moms" rather than driving enthusiasts, why not fill the field with mini-vans, and have the driver carry the crew onboard? When they stop for fuel or tires, it could be like a "Chinese Fire Drill", where the crew could jump out, service the car, and then jump back in to continue the race.

Sadly, these are our "stock" cars. Heaven help us! What I wouldn't give to see a Hudson Hornet charging up through the field towards the checkered flag again!

Up, Up, and Away!

Last week, we were treated to a real-time drama, played out on television, where a 7 year old boy might just be in danger, as he floated in a homemade helium balloon over the Colorado countryside. The entire nation watched as eyewitness news teams covered the event, all speculating on the boy's condition. In the end, it was determined to be a hoax, and the thrill of the chase was over.

The Colorado sheriff in the case, told reporters, that he believed the family was innocent, and it was just an accident. 24 hours later, he changed his mind!

The first time I saw this family on TV, I could tell there was something wrong. The father did all the talking, and he hardly sounded like a man who nearly lost a son. He was obnoxious, and arrogant during the interviews, to say the least, and the fake crocodile tears did little to diffuse that vibe. If he want's to be an actor, this man needs to go back to school, because he's the worst I've ever seen!

In the meantime, the sheriff never asked the obvious questions.

First off, why the hell were the kids not in school? It seems funny that they were all just hanging out at home on a schoolday.

Next, how in the heck did the family get enough $$ to buy a bunch of helium, and mylar to build a balloon?

And, why would any responsible adult name their kid "Falcon"?? I had a 1962 Ford Falcon, and it was not very reliable. It finally lost the main bearings on the Indiana Toll Road, in a grand display of smoke.

This Falcon was history!

Fast forward to 2009, the Falcon in the story had allegedly climbed into the balloon to go for a ride, but in reality, had climbed up into the attic over the garage to hide.

The cynic in me says this is just one in a long line of hoaxes, perpetrated to give someone their 15 minutes of fame. The family made sure they hit every news show on the circuit, in order to make their case, but it was on the Larry King Show on CNN, that things began to unravel. Falcon (the kid, not the Ford) stated that he hid and pretended to be the victim "for the show". The news media finally put two and two together, and figured out that this was pure BS.

Thousands of dollars were spent chasing the runaway balloon. All manner of law enforcement followed it's every move, while flight paths were shut down in order to provide a safe passage for the "Balloon Boy".

ABC news had interviewed another hoaxer the day after the "Balloon Boy" debacle, and he mentioned some of the great hoaxes of our time. Like the "Runaway Bride", who faked an abduction to cover up the fact that she was, in my opinion, fugly!

He also mentioned the biggest scam so far, which has cost us thousands of lives....WMD's.

The US invaded Iraq in order to neutralize chemical weapons. Since there were none, a new cause had to be manufactured, and there was nothing to base this fear mongering on. WMD's were invented! They have no definition, much like the word "stuff". The whole hoax depended upon American's fear that them "Al Keidies" were gonna do something to us!

As with any hoax, the truth finally came out, but not without a great loss of life.

I wonder if any hoax is worth that? And what of Falcon? If he goes back to school, will he be a hero, or villan? Only time will tell, but parents, PLEASE don't name your kid something stupid. You never know when he'll be on the national news!

Branson, Part two

I got to thinking about Branson Missouri again this afternoon. Yes, there are a huge number of people who visit there, and drop tons of money. However, I would guess that the average median age of the visitors is a lot older than one might think. The kitschy "hillbilly" references across the city cater to how those of us in the Ozarks are perceived by outsiders. Baby boomers remember shows like "The Beverly Hillbillies", and comic strips like "Lil' Abner", that painted us as hayseeds, without a clue as to how the world worked.

Back in the late 1960's the notion came up that hill folk were somehow "cute" and an idea was born to take some land on Highway 7 South of Harrison Arkansas, and turn it into a "Hillbilly Theme Park". Al Capp, creator of "Lil' Abner" was brought in as a partner, and "Dogpatch" was born. People came from all over to marvel, and laugh, at the actors and actresses dressed as quaint hill folk. The park was littered with old cabins brought in from around the state, and it looked like a mountain village with rides, right there on the side of the road. The problem is that the whole idea was rather demeaning to people from around here. We were perceived as slow, illiterate dolts, who did nothing more than drink moonshine and sleep all day. Funny, huh?

Over the years, as the crowds of visitors got younger, they failed to see what their parents and grandparents saw in the place. It didn't help that "Lil' Abner" was no longer in the comics section. Young people just didn't get it, and by 1994 (I think) the park closed for good. Now it sits there, as before, looking like a small mountain village that has been abandoned, and left to the ravages of time.

Oddly enough, that same theme is echoed in Branson, just North of the Arkansas border. Sure there's entertainers there too, but none of the kids of today can identify with them. This got me to thinking, "What will happen when all the older folks that went there, are replaced by the younger ones? Will Branson still keep it's image as it does today, and will today's youth give a care in the future?

Even some of the shows that feature performers from the 1960's hold nothing for the youth of today. America is changing, yet Branson is still rooted in the past. It's doubtful there will be a Snoop Dog's "'Fo Shizzle Theater" on the strip any time soon! Nor will there be gambling, another lure for the younger set. The city is a sitting duck for the same thing that happened to Dogpatch.

It will be interesting to see if the city, and venues adapt to the changing age of the visitors, or fade from the scene, discarded by those in search of something new. I'm making no bets on the outcome, but I'm going to watch with a great deal of interest!

A trip to Branson, Missouri

I grew up in a small town in Illinois...honest, it wasn't my idea, I was just born there! As a child, it seemed we were constantly bombarded with television ads promoting some place in Wisconsin called "The Dells". What a "Dell" was, happened to be beyond my comprehension at the time, but the thought of some of the things in the ads had me curious to see them. "Ride the Ducks" the ads shouted, and "don't miss the Tommy Bartlett Water Show"! I remained curious as I got older, and found that a "duck" was an amphibious WWII vehicle.

Over the years, I learned that the "Dells" was basically a tourist trap, with all manner of ways to take your money. Not quite the romantic notion of "Beautiful Lake Delton" the ads conjured up. We never got to see "The Dells" as children, and even now, I can say I've never been there.

The same is true for Las Vegas. Another place conceived to separate tourists from their money. Though it looked interesting in the photos I had seen, I never had any desire to see it, and most likely never will. Money's too hard to come by, and just throwing it away on gambling seems just wasteful .

We've lived in the Ozark Mountains now for nearly 5 years, and the most famous place in the Ozarks just happens to be Branson Missouri, about an hour from here. Every time we turn on the TV, we see ads for "The Baldknobbers", or "Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede", and a number of other shows and attractions. From the sound if it, Branson seemed to be the biggest tourist trap of all! Each time an ad would come on, I would imagine just what Branson must look like. Huge theatres set back in the hills, with dedicated roads to get to them, I thought. I could imagine Andy Williams driving down "Andy Williams Way" to get to his Moon River Theatre, while the other entertainers had theatres scattered throughout the city, each with their own drives named after them. We knew that a day in Branson was beyond affordable for two of us, so we never even considered going there.

That changed yesterday, when we took a trip to Jasper Arkansas in the beautiful Boston Mountains. the fall colors were just beginning to blaze as we drove scenic route 7 down from Harrison. On the way back, we stopped for lunch, and thought "we're on highway 65, just down from Branson, why not go up and take a look?"

In a short while, we turned off Hwy 65, and onto Hwy 76, Branson's main street. I felt like someone who's never seen a city before, a red necked rube from the sticks, awed by all the traffic and buildings. So, what's wrong with that? This was not what I imagined.

Just the traffic was amazing! It snaked down the highway, a single lane in each direction, as far as the eye could see. On each side of the road, all manner of shows, T-Shirt shops, eateries ,and souvenir shops crowded the road. I can't even recall seeing a sidewalk, the buildings were so close. Jammed shoulder to shoulder, they tried to lure cars from those long lines of traffic. It was an amazing thing to see! How people ever got back out into the ever present traffic line after a show was beyond me. We crawled along like bumpkins, pointing at things along the way.

"There's Dick Clark's Theatre", or "there's Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede" we'd yell. "Look, they've got DUCKS!!!!" I was in awe, yet felt so silly for all my enthusiasm. By the time we got to the Titanic museum (housed in a replica of the front half of the ship, including the infamous iceberg, $18.82 per adult, plus tax!) we were ready to crawl in traffic back towards the old part of town, and the lake.

Historic Branson is a bit less shiny than the strip, but with a huge waterfront development called Branson Landings, it's gaining fast. Yet, just a couple of blocks away, there are old mobile homes on overgrown lots, boarded up homes, and other signs of the way life really is. For all it's glitz, Branson is just another American city, and life still isn't easy for many of it's residents.

I'm thankful I had to see it, and even more thankful we didn't give in and spend the grocery money doing it!

For what it's worth, the real beauty of the Ozarks can be seen in nature, and in it's people. The vast expanses of forest, and clear lakes and streams are the only entertainment I need.

However, I can say I was there, and I sure can't say that for too many other places!