Monday, November 26, 2012

Thong-O Bongo!

A "Black Friday" incident over last weekend has been on my mind since I saw it on the news this morning.  It seems that shoppers lining up outside a mall in California never knew what lie ahead.  When the mall doors opened, and the crowd rushed in, a number of them headed for Victoria's Secret.  As the throng descended, two women began to fight over the underwear.  No, not underwear models, but regular women!  As the situation escalated, several men began to also fight over the underwear!  Fists were flying as they tried to defend their favorite thongs, and frilly things.  Luckily, this whole episode was caught on camera for those of us who were neither boxing, nor shopping at the mall.
This is disturbing on many levels, and the fact that none of the underwear was on a Black Friday deep discount makes it even worse.  It took the staff quite a while to clean up the store after the fights, but better yet, I'm thinking the perps had to spend some quality time in jail, waiting for someone to throw their bail.  Imagine one of these tough guys sitting next to a serial killer, and confessing  the fact that he's in for fighting over ladies underwear!  Can you say "Squeal like a pig?"  They will walk funny for months to come!

Centuries ago, the ancient Mayans (allegedly) predicted the end of the world.  Conveniently, it's supposed to happen this December (why wait?).  With sub-human behavior like that which happened over the weekend, the prediction seems spot-on.

The Mayans, though great builders and thinkers, were a barbaric people,  They believed in human sacrifice to please their Gods.  Young virgin women would be rounded up, and thrown into volcanos, fires or other ideas that the "gods" thought up.  This is where the two stories seem to intertwine.

A smart Mayan virgin decided she wasn't going to be the sacrifice De jour.  She thought that if she could tart herself up, the powers that be would think her not virginal and leave her alone.  She promptly made a trip to the Mall of the Ancients, and purchased some frilly underthings.  To make sure this would work, she wore them exclusively, as she paraded around the city.  Sure enough, the leaders passed her up for the great honor of being a sacrifice victim!  She was spared, and passed this important tip on to all her friends.  Soon the Mayan leaders found that they had run out of victims.  Not to be deterred, they invented the Mayan calendar, and for each month, had a different scantily-clad model at the top of the page, much like our car-parts store calendars do today!
When they ran out of models, they decided that the world would end, and sadly, they never existed long enough to see if they were right.

While thankfully, we still have Victoria's Secret models to show how advanced we supposedly are, we also have those buffoons that were fighting, along with the rest of the knuckleheads.

It's sad to see civilization in such a state of decay like that.  
Perhaps it's time to bring back those sacrifices.....   

Saturday, November 24, 2012

And they called the wind...Sharia

Another election is under our belts, and while the good guy won, the losers (literally), are not going to take this sitting down.
There are movements afoot by some, to secede from the US, simply because the "Black Guy" won!
Obviously, something is wrong here.  The Right Wing has been inundated with outright lies in order to strike fear in their hearts, and thus obtain their vote.

It takes place in carefully crafted keywords, meant to confuse and frighten those that believe them.  Words like "Socialist", "Muslim", 'New World Order", and better yet, questions about the President's birthplace, have abounded.
We hear these insane rants on a daily basis, in order to keep the fear burning in those infected.  After all, how can a Black Man be President?  What happened??
It's the Right-Wing nutcases that promote this fear, and the fact that their chosen warrior got his ass whupped, doesn't help!  The keywords intended to strike fear in the slower people, didn't seem to make a difference.  That being said, a new weapon against thinking folks has been trotted out:  Sharia Law.
It's linked to the Muslim faith, and it's considered a "Mooslum Law" here.  

Heaven forbid that another religion, attempt to take over the U. S. (where out constitution provides freedom from religion!)
No, the fear mongers push the theory that the non-
Christards, want to take over our country, and force us to believe their way.  Sound familiar?  All the Christard preachers, followers, and generally stupid population believe this is true.  They fear that Sharia law will supersede the laws that we founded the nation on.  Oddly enough, the biblical laws are, in fact, Sharia law!

Yes, it means religious law, and what ever imaginary person you believe in, are the laws that should govern the nation!  To think that there are so many  states here, that have passed laws against "Sharia Law" is appalling.  After all, the idea that "Thou shall not kill", or "Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife", and "Thou shall not steal", are all Sharia law.

What is really sad is that people believe that our rights are being eroded.   The people spending billions to rig the election have set a course to control the minds of the people that can't seem to think for themselves.  Yes, the people in the tin-foil hats, are controlled completely by those that would use them to keep power.
When one looks at the beliefs being downloaded into their empty craniums, it's downright frighting!  

There is no secret, invisible planet, hiding near Jupiter, waiting to wipe out life on Earth.  Global warming is real, and the only way we can stop it is to cut pollution and fossil fuel usage.  Nor is the UN going to take over our country and force a "New World Order" upon us!
All because people that have wealth beyond imagination, didn't get their way!  
Sad, isn't it?  We send one scam artist to prison for scamming the wealthy, but attempt to elect one 10 times worse to be President.  The difference?  Cheating the wealthy is bad, cheating regular folks is just fine.

As long as there are AM radio talk shows, and Fox News, there will be a stream of propaganda aimed at the non-thinking people.  Back in WWII, there was "Axis Annie", or "Tokyo Rose".  Now we have Rush, Sean, Ann, and Sarah.  All want to have the nation knuckle under to their sick way of thinking.

Will we??
Any Deity, from Thor, to Allah, to God, and even the Flying Spaghetti Monster, has no desire to rule our pathetic planet.  A "Supreme Being" would have faith in our ability to think our way out of the mess we've gotten ourselves in.  People before profit would be the rule, and humankind would evolve into a more sympathetic, intelligent form of life.  

Of course, don't tell this to the Republicans!   

Friday, October 19, 2012

The tie that Binders...

Our President debated his challenger the other night, and it jarred me into finally getting off my ass and blogging again.  The challenger, Willard "Mitt" Romney is a very wealthy man, who has made his millions as a venture capitalist.  I know some of you are wondering just what this means.  If you think of the others in history, people like Blackbeard, or Jack Sparrow, perhaps you'll get an idea!
Unlike Robin Hood, a Venture Capitalist takes from everyone....and keeps it!
The candidates sparred back and forth over the economy, jobs, and war.  At one point in the debate though, Willard mentioned that he had "binders full of women".  Of course, thinking men and women all over the country, jumped on this for what it was;  a display of his lack of knowledge about anything in mainstream America.
Romney has led a charmed life.  He has gone to the best private schools, and was given the chance to be governor of Massachusetts and run it into the ground.  In his way of thinking, that makes him a perfect candidate.  He has no inkling of what life beyond his ivory tower was like.

Romney has several mansions around the country, garages with elevators in them,  and a dancing horse which he claims as a $77K tax credit.  The rest of his millions are hidden behind dummy corporations offshore.

You may ask yourself, "where is this rant going?"  Well, the "binders full of women" remark frames the whole Romney experience.  You don't hire a woman because she is the best person for the job;  you put here in a "binder" with others, to show you might have considered her at some point in time.  It's nice to wave a fist full of applications around, rather than have to hire them, much less pay them equally.   

His disdain for the working men and women in this country stems from his Bain days.  He would buy up companies, fire the workers one day, and hire them back at lower wages and benefits the next.  Later, he would strip the company of everything of value, and pocket enormous profits, while it was left to wither and die.  His policies, and past performance show he is not interested in jobs, at least not here in the US.  All that is important is that he makes money.  His campaign focuses on saying what the party, not people, want to hear.  No consideration is given to the workers, much less the women who will be affected.

"Women in binders" is a way to show he cares, at least in his mind.  While you may not be good enough to be included in the "good old white boys club" and get the pay that you deserve, you're in a "binder" so the public can see that you were "considered". 

Romney is completely out of touch with what the rest of us have to deal with We have no servants to cook for us, clean for us, nor do all the mundane things that we must do every day.  While he flails at trying to look like he understands the average person, he can only identify with the wealthy.

We, as a nation, are better than this. We all deserve the same respect we're expected to give our wealthy masters.
My question is:  Are they worthy? 

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Bak 2 Skool!

I was watching the news the other day, and was shocked to see what it costs to send a child to school these days.  On average, a grade school student requires $474 per year, a middle school student will need $545 in supplies, and a high school student will cost you $1,000!  This is just to go to a school that you pay state and local taxes to attend!  I have to admit, we couldn't afford to send our two children to school these days!  How did this get to be so expensive?   I'm still amazed that class trips end up going to foreign countries for a week or more, and parents have the money to pay for their child to go along.  Is it that they can afford it, or do they do this on credit, paying it back over time?

Life was different when I was growing up.  There was no list of items that the school system demanded you have.  We would take a family trip to the Ben Franklin 5 & and 10 to buy our one folder for 10 cents, a pad of notebook paper, a notebook (if we ruined the one we had the year before), a box of 12 crayons, pencils, an eraser, and a fountain pen.  That was it!  We would get 1 pair of tennis shoes (the "high tops" were more expensive, so we didn't get them),  and perhaps a couple of pairs of pants.  All other clothes were home made, or hand-me-downs, often times from neighbors and relatives. We walked to school, and home for lunch, no matter what the weather was, no buses, nor "Mom Taxis".  Kindergarten was a private school, that cost more than we could afford so we went right to First Grade.
By about 5th grade, the school decided to start a band.  While we were dieing to join and learn to play music, it was just too expensive, a ridiculous cost of $4 a week!

Still, we didn't feel underprivileged in any way.  While we were poorer than most of our classmates, we didn't really feel left out.  It wasn't until High School that we began to feel excluded.  Our school was in a different town, populated by many more affluent families, as well as the surrounding towns.  I remember just how out of place I felt on my first day of school!  Most of my classmates had lived in the city, and seen things I had never even imagined existed.  They wore new expensive clothes, while I wore hand-me-downs,  some kids even had  a transistor radio!  Such things were clearly out of our reach!

However, we got an education, and prepared for life as an adult.  We learned the value of hard work to reach our goals, and how to behave in a public environment.    The school, and our parent's tax dollars, paid for most, if not all, of the required classroom supplies.

So what has happened to education?  What on earth would cost a thousand dollar out of pocket expense to attend a public high school?  Has the world gone crazy?  And what of the parents who can't afford this cost?  Will children be banned from the school because their parents can't afford a new laptop computer each year?  Thankfully, there are groups to help the less than fortunate families to get supplies.
Still, one has to question  the cost of the whole thing.  It seems to be all about the money, as always.  A school is an economic engine, not a place of education!

Shop 'till you drop, and charge it if you don't have the cash.  And no, we will not teach your child to write in cursive!

Sad, isn't it?

©2012 Ornery Arkie Productions.  All rights reserved

Friday, July 6, 2012


This past week, we learned of the passing of one of our generation's icons:  Andy Griffith.    Griffith was best known for his television series depicting life in a rural Southern town called Mayberry.  Andy played the sheriff of the town, who had to dispense not only justice, but infuse the townsfolk with his wisdom. 
The town was inhabited by dozens of quirky characters, who all, at some point, benefited from Griffith's common sense and understanding.

Since his death came during an election year, and since some of the dumbest things I've ever seen are going on in politics, I wonder what would happen if those two far apart worlds were suddenly thrown together..... 

Rod Serling introduces tonight's episode, where the present meets the past.....

Cue the theme song!
The show opens with Deputy Barney Fife chasing down a limousine on a dusty country road.  Light flashing, and siren blaring, Fife pulls behind the offender, who finally slows to a stop.

Fife:    "Step out of the car, feller!"  "Right now!"
Mitt Romney exits the limo with his hands in the air.  He is dressed in an expensive suit, with a gold watch on his wrist.

Mitt:    "Is there a problem deputy?"

Fife:    "You're darned right there's a problem!" 

Fife:    "You were doing twice the speed limit back there!"

Mitt:    "Well I'm very sorry officer, I was on my way to Washington DC.  I'm running for president, you know."

Fife:    "Really?  Well then I'm Cleopatra!!  Get in the back of the squad car!"

The scene fades with the patrol car driving off in a cloud of dust.
Now the camera pans Mayberry's main street, stopping in front of the jail.  The squad car slides to a stop, lights and siren still going. Fife bursts into the office surprising Andy, who is doing paperwork at his desk.

Fife:    "We've got us a law breakin' speeder, Anj!"
Andy looks up to see Mitt in handcuffs standing before him, with Barney eying him suspiciously.

Andy:    "Well I dooo declare, what have we got here, Barn?"

Fife:    "He says he's a runnin' for President, Anj, and he's headed for Washington!"

Andy:    "Well 'scuse me mister, but with that suit on, you look more like you're fixin' to run for undertaker!"

The courtroom door bursts open, and Andy's son Opie enters.

Opie:    "Paw, who ya got there?"

Andy:   "His name's Mitt, son."

Opie:    "You mean like a catcher's mitt, or a first baseman's mitt?  I reckin he could have been named after some other sport.  Heck, paw, he could have been called "Hockey  Puck"!

Andy:    "No son, that was the last president!"

Andy:    "Put him in the cell with Otis, Barn, until I can sort this all out." 

Barney takes the handcuffs off Romney, and locks him in the cell with the town drunk, Otis Campbell.

Otis:    "Am I dead?  Andy, help me, the undertaker's here!!!"

Andy:    "Naw, you ain't dead Otis, this here's Mr. Romney, and he's fixin' to run for presi-dent!"

Otis:    "What happened to Eisenhower?"

Mitt:    "You know sheriff, you have a 4 cell jail with only one cell utilized.  It's a waste of resources!  If I were you, I'd hire a corporation to come in and run things!"  "They would pay you money for the prisoners they housed.  All you would have to do is just arrest a certain number of offenders per week in order to get paid."

Andy:    "What, I have to arrest innocent people?"

Mitt:    "It's all business, sheriff.  As long as the corporation makes money, everyone benefits."  "Besides, corporations are people!"

The door opens, and in walks Aunt Bea with a freshly baked cherry pie.

Bea:  "Oh dear; Andy, there's an undertaker in the cell with Otis.   Is Otis dead??"

Andy:    "Naw Ain't Bea, this here's Mr. Mitt, and he's telling me how to make money off our prisoners."  "He says we need to have more!"

Bea:    "But Andy, you only have Otis as a regular prisoner, where would you get the rest?"

Andy looks at the empty jail cells, and then at Aunt Bea............

Andy:    "Well Ain't Bea, I might have to book you in to keep up our revi-new!"

Aunt Bea drops the pie, and runs out of the courthouse.

Andy:    "Well Mr. Mitt, you have shore upset Ain't Bea with your idea!  Is that what you're fixin to do if you get to be presi-dent?"  "You know, if corporations are people, serial killers are people too.  I wouldn't want to live near nether one!"

Mitt:    "It's good for business, good for the economy, and good for the corporation, sheriff.  If a company took over, you could even retire.....  without pay, of course."  "The company would patrol the streets, arresting offenders, and trumping up charges if need be.  As long as the jail is full, the company would make a profit."

Andy:    "Well, If I don't get paid to retire, than what becomes of me?"  "I'll be penniless!"

Mitt looks over at the empty cells smirking...

Mitt:    "Well sheriff...."

Andy:    "No suh!  I'm the sheriff, not some vagrant!"  "You sure don't know what life is like here.  We' sure don't need no corporation running things!  We're happy just as we are!"  "Let me finish your paperwork, and Barney will take you to the edge of town and drop you off.  I don't want to see you, or you cor-po-ration anywhere near these parts!"

Mitt pays his fine, and Barney loads him back into the squad car.  The squad pulls away from the courthouse with tires squealing.

Opie:    "That man sure is strange, paw!  I reckon if he gets to be president, we're all gonna be in trouble!"  "I sure don't want to be some corporation!"

Andy:    "Don't worry son, I told Barney to drop him off at the edge of town.  I just didn't say which town!"

The scene fades out, while a far off shot  of the Mayberry squad car fades in.  It's snowing heavily as Barney opens the rear door.

Barney:    "Well here you go, Mr. corporation, welcome to Timbuktu.  Now get out and get lost!"

The show ends with Mitt standing in a snow drift trying to get a signal on his cell phone, while Andy, Barney, Aunt Bea, and Opie share that Cherry pie with Otis.

Andy:    "I sure hope them corporate raiders never take over America!  What a mess we would be in if they did!"

Otis:    "I'll drink to that!"

Fade out......

R. I. P. Andy Griffith, we will sure miss you!

© 2012 Ornery Arkie Productions  All rights reserved

Wednesday, June 13, 2012


As we get older, we find less that we're willing to tolerate.  The fact that we've lived a long life, means we've seen things, or been subjected to things,  that the younger set hasn't.  We spent our whole lives with a number of pet-peeves, and they tend to increase by the day.  Of course, the ones that we started with, remain with us.

My biggest piss-off is ties.  The simple fact that knotting a rag around one's neck is thought to make them a professional is just plain crazy.  I realize, that in the 1800's, men wore cravats (ties) as part of their every day dress.  It was more of a fashion requirement, than a fashion statement.  As time progressed, the tie became part of "business attire".  How silly!  Wearing a tie, didn't make you a better worker, a more intelligent being, nor more honest.  It simply meant that you had "knuckled under" and towed the company line.

As time rolled on, the suit and tie became part of our culture.  In the 1970's we had suits so huge, that a person could walk across a room, and the suit would still stay there he started.  What a great advertisement for a business!  "Buy from us...I'm wearing a suit and tie!"  Looking back, the whole thing seems rather stupid.

By the 1980's, a tie was a regular item of business attire.  It was thought that a tie made one look "Professional", sort of like fishnets make a hooker look like a pro.

The slimy, greaseballs who tried to sell you things, always wore ties. A white shirt and tie meant that a person was an honest businessman, who would never cheat you.  After all, he was wearing a TIE!

Women, never had to suffer this scourge.  They had a more generous choice of clothing, but on the other hand, they failed to receive the pay men did.  I suppose it was their punishment for not towing the line...

Fast forward to today!  We now have "Power Ties" for the elitists.  Can one charge one's cell phone off a power tie?  Nope, didn't think so!
The idea that now, some sweaty greaseball holds you as a hostage, controlled by your collar and tie, much like a collar and leash, is appalling.  We the people deserve better.  We are not slaves, we are not subject to our bosses whims.  A tie does not make a person any more honest, nor any more productive.  A shirt and tie are worn to impress a  customer, while the wearer cleans out your bank account.  

I would rather deal with a person in a T-Shirt and Jeans, than a slick guy wearing a shirt and tie.  Business attire is like a mask, where perpetrators can hide behind.  If a person wears what they want, it's easier to see what that person is all about.  

Casual dress, brings out the real person.  There's no pretense, no phony persona, just the person behind the clothing. 

Why isn't there a revolt among the worker bees?  Stand up and renounce your corporate allegiance!  I guess that that collar and leash are a bit too tight, and if you don't perform.........  

Monday, May 21, 2012

Senior Class


Many long years ago, I was a Senior in High School.  The term "Senior" meant that you had reached the point where you were ready to go off into the world, and make your mark, leave your legacy, or at least get a job and subsist.  You were considered special, someone to be looked up to by the underclassmen.  A Senior had successfully navigated the high school curriculum.  You had Senior Proms, Senior cut days, and other perks, because you earned them.  You only had a one year stint as a Senior, unless you couldn't get enough credits to graduate.  After graduation, you either went on to college, or entered the work force.

Life passed, and many of us raised our own Seniors, and watched with pride as they too, entered adulthood.  As a parent, one could again relive those years long ago.  
Sadly, there's a second time in life one turns a Senior.  There's no bragging rights in this version.   After the age of 50, you are eligible to join the AARP, an organization for Seniors.  Instead of proms, and bragging rights, there's pity. 
You are a burden if you're still working, blocking the younger set from advancement, by still being on the job.  In many jobs, the senior man receives higher pay than the newer employees, as pay scales tend to go down these days.  Your wisdom, and clear thinking are a threat to those new folks in the workforce.  They want you retired, so they can get your job!

Quite a Senior perk, isn't it?  As you age even more, you are looked upon as an entity to be exploited, not exulted.  There are a myriad of "Senior friendly" products marketed towards you.  The general idea is that somehow, after making your mark on society, you used up all your intelligence, and have now become a doddering old fool.  You need a special cell phone, because the one's the young folks have are just too complicated for your rusty old brain.  Or there are super simple computers offered to Seniors, which don't require any knowledge to operate.  "Keep it simple, and charge more, because they're old and don't know any better!"  
The idea that you were smart enough to hang on to your money through life is the basis for this.  
Aging makes you a prime target for the health care industry as well.  One trip to the doctor after age 55 or so, will result in an endless list of tests, pills, and more doctor visits.  You become a cash cow for the medical profession, all in the name of keeping you alive for a few more years, so they can take more money from you.  Even Medicare can't keep them from your savings, as they prescribe things that aren't covered.  MRI's, CAT scans, power chairs, and those $20,000 bathtubs with the doors in the side, are all either offered, or prescribed.  Your "Golden Years" have made you the goose that laid the golden egg!
Scammers too appreciate you.  You are the target of various cons to give up money, or personal information.   There have been may seniors who have lost thousands of dollars due to these vermin preying on the elderly.

Retirement, if you can still do it, is no longer fun in the sun, it's fretting over paying for your sub-standard life style.  Social Security payments barely cover the cost of living, and you are fearful every day that the legislative asswads in Washington, will take that away too!  

There isn't much we can do about this sad state of affairs, except to not accept it.  Why must we follow along like sheep?  Let's get out there and act up like we did when we were young.  Let's show the vultures that we ain't done yet, that we still have a fire burning inside us!  The ultimate graduation for folks our age ain't a pretty one, so let's not go too soon.  If you are told you are too old to do something, DO IT!  If you are told not to eat or drink something, do it anyway.   Stand up for yourselves as the Senior Class should do, for there still is one last person after your money when you go;  The undertaker.

Make him wait!