Monday, November 26, 2012

Thong-O Bongo!

A "Black Friday" incident over last weekend has been on my mind since I saw it on the news this morning.  It seems that shoppers lining up outside a mall in California never knew what lie ahead.  When the mall doors opened, and the crowd rushed in, a number of them headed for Victoria's Secret.  As the throng descended, two women began to fight over the underwear.  No, not underwear models, but regular women!  As the situation escalated, several men began to also fight over the underwear!  Fists were flying as they tried to defend their favorite thongs, and frilly things.  Luckily, this whole episode was caught on camera for those of us who were neither boxing, nor shopping at the mall.
This is disturbing on many levels, and the fact that none of the underwear was on a Black Friday deep discount makes it even worse.  It took the staff quite a while to clean up the store after the fights, but better yet, I'm thinking the perps had to spend some quality time in jail, waiting for someone to throw their bail.  Imagine one of these tough guys sitting next to a serial killer, and confessing  the fact that he's in for fighting over ladies underwear!  Can you say "Squeal like a pig?"  They will walk funny for months to come!

Centuries ago, the ancient Mayans (allegedly) predicted the end of the world.  Conveniently, it's supposed to happen this December (why wait?).  With sub-human behavior like that which happened over the weekend, the prediction seems spot-on.

The Mayans, though great builders and thinkers, were a barbaric people,  They believed in human sacrifice to please their Gods.  Young virgin women would be rounded up, and thrown into volcanos, fires or other ideas that the "gods" thought up.  This is where the two stories seem to intertwine.

A smart Mayan virgin decided she wasn't going to be the sacrifice De jour.  She thought that if she could tart herself up, the powers that be would think her not virginal and leave her alone.  She promptly made a trip to the Mall of the Ancients, and purchased some frilly underthings.  To make sure this would work, she wore them exclusively, as she paraded around the city.  Sure enough, the leaders passed her up for the great honor of being a sacrifice victim!  She was spared, and passed this important tip on to all her friends.  Soon the Mayan leaders found that they had run out of victims.  Not to be deterred, they invented the Mayan calendar, and for each month, had a different scantily-clad model at the top of the page, much like our car-parts store calendars do today!
When they ran out of models, they decided that the world would end, and sadly, they never existed long enough to see if they were right.

While thankfully, we still have Victoria's Secret models to show how advanced we supposedly are, we also have those buffoons that were fighting, along with the rest of the knuckleheads.

It's sad to see civilization in such a state of decay like that.  
Perhaps it's time to bring back those sacrifices.....   

1 comment:

  1. You couldn't have said it any better. What has happened to us as human beings?