Bringing back the Past

We have watched NASCAR racing for a number of years now, and I have to wonder just how long the entire "show" is going to last.

NASCAR first came to life 50 years ago, when there were major manufacturers willing to put their cars up against the competition to see who was best. This was a win-win deal for the consumers. A car that was strong, a car that was aerodynamic, a car that was a clear winner, all paved the way for strong sales after the race.

All the manufacturers had an ace up their sleeve, be it power, reliability, brakes, or speed. That's what makes racing interesting. Who can produce the car that can conqueror Talladega, or Daytona? Hudson, Packard, Studebaker, Oldsmobile, Pontiac, and all the others worked tirelessly to improve their offerings. The mindset was "win on Sunday, sell on Monday". The same 200 MPH cars that you saw at the track, were available in the local dealer's showroom, or at least, could be ordered there.

As time went by, the cars that you could buy in real life faded away, replaced by NASCAR's universal car. No more individuality would be tolerated, no bigger engines, no slicker aero packages. Now, the playing field had to be leveled. All the cars had to be the same, motors, bodies, and equipment. Where is the spirit of competition here? There are so many rules in place that the cars are all clones of each other, and the driver that stays awake 'til the end is declared the winner.

The trouble with NASCAR racing is, that it's obsolete. There are no more cool, fast cars, thanks to Government regulations, and insurance companies. There are no "stock" cars. We're all doomed to drive crappy four-door compacts, and engine output is less important than the number of cupholders the car offers. What we see on the track, is a fantasy, something we can't have, much less drive down the road. We're doomed to cheer on a driver only, not what he (or she) drives.

The years have been good to NASCAR, and now they should be good to the fans. Stop restrictor plate racing, for starters. Either you race, or you don't, but let's not force drivers to draft in order to get ahead. It usually results in a disaster, as drivers try to move up in the field.

Let's also get rid of "the car of tomorrow". These cars don't exist in the dealerships across the country, so why should we watch them race? Let's get real stock cars out there! All the flaws, weak motors, and handling problems will shine through the hype, and people can see just what the manufacturers are offering.

And lastly, with the auto industry catering to "soccer moms" rather than driving enthusiasts, why not fill the field with mini-vans, and have the driver carry the crew onboard? When they stop for fuel or tires, it could be like a "Chinese Fire Drill", where the crew could jump out, service the car, and then jump back in to continue the race.

Sadly, these are our "stock" cars. Heaven help us! What I wouldn't give to see a Hudson Hornet charging up through the field towards the checkered flag again!

Up, Up, and Away!

Last week, we were treated to a real-time drama, played out on television, where a 7 year old boy might just be in danger, as he floated in a homemade helium balloon over the Colorado countryside. The entire nation watched as eyewitness news teams covered the event, all speculating on the boy's condition. In the end, it was determined to be a hoax, and the thrill of the chase was over.

The Colorado sheriff in the case, told reporters, that he believed the family was innocent, and it was just an accident. 24 hours later, he changed his mind!

The first time I saw this family on TV, I could tell there was something wrong. The father did all the talking, and he hardly sounded like a man who nearly lost a son. He was obnoxious, and arrogant during the interviews, to say the least, and the fake crocodile tears did little to diffuse that vibe. If he want's to be an actor, this man needs to go back to school, because he's the worst I've ever seen!

In the meantime, the sheriff never asked the obvious questions.

First off, why the hell were the kids not in school? It seems funny that they were all just hanging out at home on a schoolday.

Next, how in the heck did the family get enough $$ to buy a bunch of helium, and mylar to build a balloon?

And, why would any responsible adult name their kid "Falcon"?? I had a 1962 Ford Falcon, and it was not very reliable. It finally lost the main bearings on the Indiana Toll Road, in a grand display of smoke.

This Falcon was history!

Fast forward to 2009, the Falcon in the story had allegedly climbed into the balloon to go for a ride, but in reality, had climbed up into the attic over the garage to hide.

The cynic in me says this is just one in a long line of hoaxes, perpetrated to give someone their 15 minutes of fame. The family made sure they hit every news show on the circuit, in order to make their case, but it was on the Larry King Show on CNN, that things began to unravel. Falcon (the kid, not the Ford) stated that he hid and pretended to be the victim "for the show". The news media finally put two and two together, and figured out that this was pure BS.

Thousands of dollars were spent chasing the runaway balloon. All manner of law enforcement followed it's every move, while flight paths were shut down in order to provide a safe passage for the "Balloon Boy".

ABC news had interviewed another hoaxer the day after the "Balloon Boy" debacle, and he mentioned some of the great hoaxes of our time. Like the "Runaway Bride", who faked an abduction to cover up the fact that she was, in my opinion, fugly!

He also mentioned the biggest scam so far, which has cost us thousands of lives....WMD's.

The US invaded Iraq in order to neutralize chemical weapons. Since there were none, a new cause had to be manufactured, and there was nothing to base this fear mongering on. WMD's were invented! They have no definition, much like the word "stuff". The whole hoax depended upon American's fear that them "Al Keidies" were gonna do something to us!

As with any hoax, the truth finally came out, but not without a great loss of life.

I wonder if any hoax is worth that? And what of Falcon? If he goes back to school, will he be a hero, or villan? Only time will tell, but parents, PLEASE don't name your kid something stupid. You never know when he'll be on the national news!

Branson, Part two

I got to thinking about Branson Missouri again this afternoon. Yes, there are a huge number of people who visit there, and drop tons of money. However, I would guess that the average median age of the visitors is a lot older than one might think. The kitschy "hillbilly" references across the city cater to how those of us in the Ozarks are perceived by outsiders. Baby boomers remember shows like "The Beverly Hillbillies", and comic strips like "Lil' Abner", that painted us as hayseeds, without a clue as to how the world worked.

Back in the late 1960's the notion came up that hill folk were somehow "cute" and an idea was born to take some land on Highway 7 South of Harrison Arkansas, and turn it into a "Hillbilly Theme Park". Al Capp, creator of "Lil' Abner" was brought in as a partner, and "Dogpatch" was born. People came from all over to marvel, and laugh, at the actors and actresses dressed as quaint hill folk. The park was littered with old cabins brought in from around the state, and it looked like a mountain village with rides, right there on the side of the road. The problem is that the whole idea was rather demeaning to people from around here. We were perceived as slow, illiterate dolts, who did nothing more than drink moonshine and sleep all day. Funny, huh?

Over the years, as the crowds of visitors got younger, they failed to see what their parents and grandparents saw in the place. It didn't help that "Lil' Abner" was no longer in the comics section. Young people just didn't get it, and by 1994 (I think) the park closed for good. Now it sits there, as before, looking like a small mountain village that has been abandoned, and left to the ravages of time.

Oddly enough, that same theme is echoed in Branson, just North of the Arkansas border. Sure there's entertainers there too, but none of the kids of today can identify with them. This got me to thinking, "What will happen when all the older folks that went there, are replaced by the younger ones? Will Branson still keep it's image as it does today, and will today's youth give a care in the future?

Even some of the shows that feature performers from the 1960's hold nothing for the youth of today. America is changing, yet Branson is still rooted in the past. It's doubtful there will be a Snoop Dog's "'Fo Shizzle Theater" on the strip any time soon! Nor will there be gambling, another lure for the younger set. The city is a sitting duck for the same thing that happened to Dogpatch.

It will be interesting to see if the city, and venues adapt to the changing age of the visitors, or fade from the scene, discarded by those in search of something new. I'm making no bets on the outcome, but I'm going to watch with a great deal of interest!

A trip to Branson, Missouri

I grew up in a small town in Illinois...honest, it wasn't my idea, I was just born there! As a child, it seemed we were constantly bombarded with television ads promoting some place in Wisconsin called "The Dells". What a "Dell" was, happened to be beyond my comprehension at the time, but the thought of some of the things in the ads had me curious to see them. "Ride the Ducks" the ads shouted, and "don't miss the Tommy Bartlett Water Show"! I remained curious as I got older, and found that a "duck" was an amphibious WWII vehicle.

Over the years, I learned that the "Dells" was basically a tourist trap, with all manner of ways to take your money. Not quite the romantic notion of "Beautiful Lake Delton" the ads conjured up. We never got to see "The Dells" as children, and even now, I can say I've never been there.

The same is true for Las Vegas. Another place conceived to separate tourists from their money. Though it looked interesting in the photos I had seen, I never had any desire to see it, and most likely never will. Money's too hard to come by, and just throwing it away on gambling seems just wasteful .

We've lived in the Ozark Mountains now for nearly 5 years, and the most famous place in the Ozarks just happens to be Branson Missouri, about an hour from here. Every time we turn on the TV, we see ads for "The Baldknobbers", or "Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede", and a number of other shows and attractions. From the sound if it, Branson seemed to be the biggest tourist trap of all! Each time an ad would come on, I would imagine just what Branson must look like. Huge theatres set back in the hills, with dedicated roads to get to them, I thought. I could imagine Andy Williams driving down "Andy Williams Way" to get to his Moon River Theatre, while the other entertainers had theatres scattered throughout the city, each with their own drives named after them. We knew that a day in Branson was beyond affordable for two of us, so we never even considered going there.

That changed yesterday, when we took a trip to Jasper Arkansas in the beautiful Boston Mountains. the fall colors were just beginning to blaze as we drove scenic route 7 down from Harrison. On the way back, we stopped for lunch, and thought "we're on highway 65, just down from Branson, why not go up and take a look?"

In a short while, we turned off Hwy 65, and onto Hwy 76, Branson's main street. I felt like someone who's never seen a city before, a red necked rube from the sticks, awed by all the traffic and buildings. So, what's wrong with that? This was not what I imagined.

Just the traffic was amazing! It snaked down the highway, a single lane in each direction, as far as the eye could see. On each side of the road, all manner of shows, T-Shirt shops, eateries ,and souvenir shops crowded the road. I can't even recall seeing a sidewalk, the buildings were so close. Jammed shoulder to shoulder, they tried to lure cars from those long lines of traffic. It was an amazing thing to see! How people ever got back out into the ever present traffic line after a show was beyond me. We crawled along like bumpkins, pointing at things along the way.

"There's Dick Clark's Theatre", or "there's Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede" we'd yell. "Look, they've got DUCKS!!!!" I was in awe, yet felt so silly for all my enthusiasm. By the time we got to the Titanic museum (housed in a replica of the front half of the ship, including the infamous iceberg, $18.82 per adult, plus tax!) we were ready to crawl in traffic back towards the old part of town, and the lake.

Historic Branson is a bit less shiny than the strip, but with a huge waterfront development called Branson Landings, it's gaining fast. Yet, just a couple of blocks away, there are old mobile homes on overgrown lots, boarded up homes, and other signs of the way life really is. For all it's glitz, Branson is just another American city, and life still isn't easy for many of it's residents.

I'm thankful I had to see it, and even more thankful we didn't give in and spend the grocery money doing it!

For what it's worth, the real beauty of the Ozarks can be seen in nature, and in it's people. The vast expanses of forest, and clear lakes and streams are the only entertainment I need.

However, I can say I was there, and I sure can't say that for too many other places!

A Purpose Driven Life??

We have been scrambling to finish up a job here lately. During yesterday's manic workload, I saw a copy of "A Purpose Driven Life", and it got me thinking.
While I had no time to read it, I gleaned that it was about the "fact" that were all here for a purpose. Like what?

Perhaps superheros, pledged to fight crime, and save humanity, would fulfill that niche, but what about the rest of us mere mortals? We seem to be here to live life by the seat of our pants, never knowing what the future holds. There is no divine plan for us, no accolades for doing something right. We just get by, day by day, and have no idea what's going to happen next. Reality is, that if there is indeed a plan, we ain't invited to participate.
Look around at the successful people. They seem to be laughing all the way to eternity, because they screwed the little guy to get ahead. Is this right? Is this our purpose driven life.....to get shafted by the powers that be?

If there indeed is a plan in place, and if there is a supreme being who cares about us, and has a plan for us, then why would they turn some into heroin addicts, or leave others to starve? Is this a plan? If you're crossing the street, and get gunned down by a drunk driver, is this your destiny?

It sounds like total bullshit to me! We alone can make the choice to go for the brass ring on the merry-go-round of life. There is no divine plan, no sacred cause for us. We're here to slog along until the end. What happiness, and success we find, is totally from our own fighting to do so.
The only realities we face each day are death and taxes, and sometimes feeding the cat. Other than that, we're on our own. It's up to us to find our own happiness, help others, live, love, laugh, and then amaze ourselves with what we can do. The rest of the world could give a shit! The only one who cares about us.....is us!

So, the moral of the story is: be true to yourself, achieve your own goals, not what someone claims is your "destiny". There is no one upstairs rooting us on. No angel cheerleaders in miniskirts urging us to "go, fight, WIN!" Truth is, the cosmos could give a rat's ass as to how we end up, so it's up to each of us to make sure we're satisfied with our lives.
In the end, the only one we have to answer to is our self. Did we do something useful with our "allotted" days on earth? Did we really care about the world around us, and try to improve it? Did we touch a life, or make someone smile? Or were we self-centered ass hats, who cared for nothing more than getting ahead, at any cost?

The only "plan" is our own, and what we do is entirely for our feelings of success, happiness, and sometimes survival.

The cosmos is betting against us, let's show them what we can do!

Go team go!

Cash for Clunkers; Part Deux

I recently heard that the US Postal Service is offering a $15,000 incentive to Postal Workers to get them to leave the service. It's like the "Cash for Clunkers" campaign, where the Service would get rid of the highest paid tier of workers, those that have been there for quite a while, and are near retirement age A $15K boot out the door would be a good thing for many of the dedicated skilled employees, but it should be based on performance, nothing else. Reward the people who have been breaking their backs to move America's mail! It's the least the Postal Service could do to thank the dwindling workforce of clerks who really care about doing a good job.

And that brings me to the "clunkers" part. Over the years, the Postal Service has been hiring more and more people who do as little as possible. They take no pride in their work, because the dedicated employees have to do it for them. There are no workplace rules, nor time studies in place to stop these people from clocking in, and hiding the rest of the day. Supervision has their hands full with the task of data entry, filling in countless forms, reports, and other useless drivel. They seldom look away from the computer screen. This opens the door for goofing off! Imagine employees that swipe in at the beginning of the day, and walk back out the door to go to work at another job! It happens in the larger facilities!

In my former office, we had a man who came from another office to fill a vacant position. This position involved being stationed in a remote mailing plant, with no supervision. While the Postmaster was trusting the man to do his job, the employee was out fishing for the better part of the day, and only came back when he was paged by the employees of the plant! This went on for months, and he was finally replaced by another man who did much the same thing. Instead of fishing, he would work in his sister's store, or sell real estate!

The list goes on, and this was only one office out of the whole system! Why would we reward people who refuse to work? And why isn't there supervision to weed out the useless people and process them out of the service?

Seeing these "clunkers" get rewarded for their non-service just shows what a real mess the Postal Service is in!

Pay(n) in the Butt!

There's an old saying that there are only two things in life that you can't change, death and taxes. From the moment we get a few coins in our little hands, there has been some form of government wanting to take a share, be it local, county, state, or federal. We were brought up believing that it's a citizen's duty to pay taxes in order to keep the country running (and spending). It seem that there is a tax on nearly everything that affects one's life, from food taxes, to utility taxes, and on and on.The political mindset is that you never think about the tax when you see the price on the shelf. Only when you get the final bill does it appear, making the cost of your purchase higher. Then it's too late , and you resign yourself to pay it.



What got me thinking about this occurred on one of my many trips to fix my computer a few weeks back. I pulled up the the little strip mall shop where I bought it, and had to park in front of the convenience store next door. There in the window was a sign advertising cigarettes for $49.99 per carton. Since I quit smoking years ago, I hadn't kept up with the costs, but I remember that the unbelievable sum of $5\carton is one thing that drove us to quit back then!

They say the high taxes on cigarettes are meant to be a deterrent to smoking. If you don't like the tax, then quit. This means that the tax is strictly meant as a punishment! It's unthinkable that taxes are used to take money away for no other reason than to punish someone!



Not a smoker? Then how about the tax on soft drinks that San Francisco want's to implement (or already has in place)? If memory serves me correctly, it's something like 35%! All this to force people to stop drinking sweetened sodas. What on earth does this have to do with anything? I can understand that a tobacco tax might apply because of health concerns due to second hand smoke, but soda pop?



Worse yet, there's a number of nutjobs in Washington who want an extra gas tax, in order to punish us for driving older, less fuell efficient vehicles. Many people live paycheck to paycheck in this country, and to screw them with higher gas prices is just plain wrong. The price of automobiles has left many people no other alternative but to continue to drive older cars and trucks. Many new cars cost more than a full year's salary, so if a person has a car that runs, and is paid for, why should they be punished?



The list goes on and on, from utility taxes, personal property taxes, (punishment for having stuff!) and food taxes (you eat, therefore we tax!). It takes a huge bite out of a person's income. What amazes me is that the Washington elite have no idea how much strain these little swipes at our income put on the family budget. If they don't like a product we consume, is that really any of their business?

It's time to leave the consumer alone, and have at least a few things that we enjoy!


Life's too short, and in the end, when we die, it seems that there's taxes on that too!