Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Laying Down the Law!

With all the excesses in today's world, nothing is more blatant than our laws.  We have thousands of laws, and there are millions of words spent defining them.  What ever happened to a simple "NO, don't do that"?  Imagine if our parents had to read us our rights before they gave us a spanking for breaking the neighbor's window.  On the other hand, suppose we children could have gotten legal council before the the first smack of the belt?  Our parents would have been so tied up in cases, we'd be in our 30's before our parents could have punished us.  Do laws have to be written so complicated that there are gray areas?
I suppose it's how lawyers make their money.  If you charge by the hour, getting through all the documents and precedents before even going before a judge will earn you a ton of cash.

Why does our system have to be like that?  Can't we just say "NO" and be done with it?  You wouldn't need a lawyer at all.  If caught doing something wrong, you go before a judge immediately, and get the prescribed punishment.  Simple, isn't it?

Another thing that confuses me is how a person can plead "not guilty" when caught red-handed while breaking the law.  How can you be not guilty when you did it?  Take your punishment, and let's get to the next case!  And better yet, how can a person plead not guilty because of insanity?  Do only sane people commit crimes?  Lawyer:  "My client is not guilty because he's nuckin' futs."  Judge:  "OK you're free, crazy, but free."  Lovely, isn't it?
It's time we change the laws, simplify them, even for the simple minded.  No means no, don't means do not.  Defy this and your in trouble!  We would simplify the legal system, speed up justice, and save millions of dollars a year!

And another thing;  let's drop all this liability crap!  If you buy a pencil and poke your eye out, you can sue the maker because there wasn't a warning label on it saying "Don't poke yourself in the eye, dummy".  This is beyond stupid.  If people can't be trusted, misuse products, or fail to see the obvious, then they shouldn't be able to sue over it.  It becomes a cash cow for the lawyers, as they get a piece of the action, as well as the litigants.  I know one person, who used to brag about new cars, or fun vacations, made possible by suing someone.  Is this right?  I would hate to think the world is this corrupt, but I know better. 

Some day, someone will finally say "enough is enough", and make some changes to simplify things, and immediately be sued because there wasn't a Spanish translation.   Face it, we're all screwed!

Monday, April 9, 2012

Here's to Tragedy!

The 100th anniversary of the sinking of the RMS Titanic is upon us.  She sailed from Southampton England en route to the United States, carrying 2,224 passengers on her maiden voyage.  Obviously her owners, the White Star Line, didn't know that "RMS" stood for "really might sink"!
On the night of April 15, 1912, she sailed into history by striking an iceberg, tearing a hole in her hull, and sinking.  This opulent testimony to human engineering took with her over 1000 passengers on her trip to the bottom, with only 710 people surviving this tragedy.
At the time, this was thought to be the greatest disaster known to man.  
So why are we celebrating it?
We have traveling Titanic exhibits, Titanic museums, and the whole gruesome wreck has been made into a movie, and in turn, that movie has been made into a 3-D movie!  This terrible loss of human life is being commemorated as a wonderful celebration, and the frenzy is building as we reach the day of the disaster.
Are humans really that jaded?  Must we merchandise the tragedy?  There are Titanic tours, Titanic museums, Titanic dinnerware sets, DVD's, and even copies of things in the movie.  Tragedy sells!

As a service to all the investors out there, I have come up with some new disasters they might want to market, and exploit!

"The Love Canal Experience" would be the first one.  A theme park could be built, and guests could learn of the sickness suffered by the residents of the town due to the dumping of toxins by the Hooker Chemical Company.  Guests could enjoy toxic Slurpees, while they watch their skin develop strange sores, and later, walk through the re-created abandoned town.

"Chernobyl Revisited"  would be a fun trip through a nuclear disaster, where guests wear glow-stick vests, allowing them to glow in the dark, just like the Russian victims!  Later, they visit a petting zoo, where actual wildlife that survived the disaster, are there to be admired.  Those three headed cats are soo cute!

"Pop Goes the Challenger" would be a theme-park comemmorating the Challenger disaster.  
Guests would strap into a re-creation of the space shuttle, and then get blown to bits (via green screen) and rain down on Texas!  What fun!

I've saved the best disaster for last:
"Eight Years of George Bush" would be a theme park where only people with a low enough IQ would be allowed to actually enter.  Other guests would watch through one way glass at the fun going on within!  Then everyone gets to watch the economy sour, and help make the decision to invade the wrong country.  Guests could actually re-create some of the war crimes that Bush was famous for, and order airstrikes  on the not-so-intellegent below.  Then, as a finale, everyone could watch their savings, retirement, hopes, and dreams, get trashed by the Wall Street debacle!  
Folks, this one's a winner!  Price the tickets below $20, and the world will beat a path to our door!  I just hope we have a country left, when the 100 year anniversary rolls around!

Friday, April 6, 2012

Trumped up!

The world is full of miscreants, thieves and other less than savory types.  We have been told since early childhood, that we must work hard to be successful.  Lately, Donald Trump,  "The Donald"  has been held up to us as an "ideal".  Yes he appears to have a ton of money, and attracts the beautiful people, despite that weird hair, but is he really what he seems?

It is amazing how many people declare bankruptcy these days.  It's an easy process where you can hire a lawyer, go before a judge, and get out of whatever debt you have racked up.  Isn't that convenient?  You can do what ever you want and never face the consequences.  It's soooo easy!  Trump's companies have declared bankruptcy 4 times, according to records.  As a man who makes huge deals, I must wonder just how much he stiffed his creditors.  Is this a role model for the rest of us?  Has honesty been replaced by profits at all costs?

I remember being taught that if you want something, you have to save for it in order to get it.  There was no instant gratification involved.  You had to wait until you had the funds.  As time passed, the world became a credit-oriented society, and you bought today, and paid tomorrow.  That was still fine, as long as you settled your debts.  The new way of doing things is doing nothing.  Run up a mountain of bills, ignore them, and then be forgiven them by the court.  Then, you can start over again!  Isn't this thievery?  It's almost like you are immune to paying things back, and pity the people you owe!

"I owe, I owe, so off to work I go" no longer takes precedence.  Live the good life and don't pay, and you can keep it up as long as you can afford a lawyer.  Oddly enough, you must pay the lawyer, before he helps you to stiff the other creditors!

This is just plain robbery!  If you can't afford things, don't buy them.  If you run up credit card bills beyond what you earn, then stop buying until you get them paid off.  Put yourself in the shoes of those you owe.  Could you survive as a business, if people kept finding a way to avoid paying you?  
No, "The Donald" sure isn't a role model, he's more of a bad example.  When we shirk our responsibilities as consumers, and use the law to get out of them, it makes us no better than common thieves.  Only "The Donald" and his bad comb over can get away with that!