Thursday, January 6, 2011

Cue the Black Helicopters!

There have been a number of birds found dead around the world recently, and no one seems to know why. I heard of a YouTube video this morning, and had to check it out. It was done by a guy named Mike Beckham from Tennessee, and he had "proof" that it was not only caused by government research, but the government was going to "set off" the New Madrid earthquake by doing so. In this rambling 30+ minute video, where for some reason he talks to us over a Magic Jack connection, we learn that the government can now control the jet stream. He goes on to detail how there is a triangle from Bebe Arkansas, to the places where the other birds died in Tennessee, and Louisiana, all on account of the array in Alaska! As he wraps up, he mentions that he has a lot more information, but (of course) you would have to send money to get it.

What's even more interesting, is that he places the New Madrid Fault in the center of this triangle, and makes the claim that the government is going to cause an earthquake (apparently by beaming radio signals at the sky up in Alaska). Of course this is total nonsense, but I wondered just what type of scholar, professor, or person of knowledge Mr. Beckham must be to know all this stuff. A quick check of some of the other videos he's posted shows that 'ol Mike's a Billy Bob of the first magnitude. He might have graduated high school, but I wouldn't bet on it!

It seems that the crazies are coming out of the woodwork lately! I also checked into the "Planet X" hoax, where another nutbag has made up an amazing number of "facts" about a mysterious planet the size of Jupiter that is as bright as the sun, but is hiding where we can't see it. In 2012 (of course) it's going to destroy the earth. A bit of fact checking shows that this is just crazy, but these people put this crap out there to stir up the less than intelligent people. Much like the false reports that the President is a Muslim, or wasn't born in the US, these wackos want to rile up people usually for their own gain.

The oldest conspiracy theory is the one that began after the "incident" in Roswell New Mexico in the late 1940's. It seems an unidentified object crashed in the desert there, and (naturally) the Government covered it up This one incident has fed the rumor mill for over a half century now, with alleged sightings, abductions, and such. The general theory is that alien races from far across the universe want to study us. The Government is covering up the fact that they have the alien spacecraft hidden in Area 51, and are reverse engineering it to create one of our own.

So lets look at this alien invasion from a logical standpoint. Why in hell's name would an intelligent species fly trillions of miles to Earth, just to scare a few people and go back home again? If they were interested in us, wouldn't they have given us some advice as to how to make our world a better place? Wouldn't they have chided us over our polluted air and water, our incessant wars, intolerance, and aggression? After 9\11, don't you think that a benevolent alien would have stopped by the White House, and said, "Osama's in Pakistan, dummy"? Or donated a few players to the Chicago Cubs roster so they could finally be in the World Series? After 50 years, they haven't left in disgust, but continue to fly about overhead?

I have a theory on this. The alien races that stop here, are using us as a rest stop. "Get out, pee, and stretch your legs, and then carry on" is their motto. Of course the Earth isn't a 5-star stop in the alien tour books, as we're really not a very clean cosmic restroom. "Hurry up Zog, you don't want to catch anything!"

At any rate, send $29.95 for an in depth study of why alien life forms love to scare Mexicans, and get a free Klingon window cling. Don't delay, do it before the world ends!!

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