Monday, November 28, 2011

Following like Lemmings

If you think about it, we're really a nation of sheep.  We follow along with whatever nonsense we're indoctrinated with, never questioning what we hear, for we've heard it so often, we take it as factual.
Think back to childhood, when we had to learn the alphabet.  It was taught to us by singing it over and over and over again.  To this day, when you try to recite it, your first urge is to sing it.  Pretty weird, isn't it?  It represents mind control at it's best.  You don't question the song, you simply believe it, learn it, and know it.  Did we ever question the middle part of the song?  What is an "Elemeno", and why are we obsessed with it's urine?  Just how much "pee" does the Elemeno excrete?  I thinks that's more important than learning the alphabet!

That mind-numbing repetition carries on through our adult life.  We hear things so often, that we fail to examine them, merely accepting them as fact.  Face it, "An apple a day" isn't necessary to keep the doctor away, because he's got a collection agency to hound you.  

Since the last election, we have heard the mean people, ranting about the President being a Muslim (or as it's pronounce here. MOOOOSLUM).  He's been called a Socialist, and his birth certificate has been called a fake.  This is because of the glut of right-wing talk shows, spewing the seeds of discontent.  The regular listeners of these shows hear these non-facts over and over until they become gospel truth to them.  Then they go out and attempt to indoctrinate everyone they meet with their "knowledge".  It's kind of sad that no one questions, or researches anything anymore, they just follow.  This same policy worked to aid in the rise of the Nazi party prior to WW2.  Tell people the same story long enough, and you possess their minds.

The truth is out there, but people are to lazy to look for it.  They simply wander through life, listening to propaganda aimed directly at them, and believe it.

As for me, I'm in awe of what I see and hear, and want to learn more.  I make my decisions, based on a compilation of facts, not singsong rhetoric.  However, I do fear that darn Elemeno, and what damage he could do with all that pee!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

The real story of the First Thanksgiving

Centuries ago, the first illegal immigrants arrived on our shores.  They were known as "Pilgrims" and landed at Plymouth Rock in 1620.  Shortly thereafter, Plymouth Rock was discontinued, as was Pontiac Rock, Studebaker Rock, Oldsmobile Rock, and a host of others.  That meant that the Pilgrims were stuck here.
Their leader, Miles Standoffish, came all the way from England to pursue the woman of his dreams, Victoria Secret.  Miss Secret was the object of most of the mens desires, and poor Miles, didn't have much of a chance with her.  Instead, he turned his attention to a Native American woman named Snookie.  Snookie was as curvacious as a woman could be, and though she was no Victoria Secret, Miles pursued her constantly.  Finally, he had to ask her father, Chief Justice for her hand.  Chief Justice was supposedly an impartial judge of character, and consented to the union.

A huge feast was thrown to honor the newlyweds, and afterwards, they crept away for some private time.  In a short while, it appeared that there was trouble in paradise.  Miles had not yet followed up on his promises to Snookie.  There was no house in the suburbs, no SUV in the driveway, and no unlimited shopping privileges.  Poor Standoffish didn't realize that these things were still years away.  Snookie ran home to Chief Justice in tears, claiming a breach of contract.  The Chief consoled his daughter the best he could, and the next day, began working on a plan to get even.

The Chief decided to throw a huge feast, and invite the Pilgrims.  There would be turkey, yams, mashed potatoes and vintage wine.  (The Chief chose the good wine, because the Pilgrims were teetotalers, and wouldn't drink any).  The tables were set, and the feast was laid out.  Miles and Snookie were seated at the head of the table.  Thanks was given for the bountiful harvest that the Native Americans had gathered (while the Pilgrims mostly spent their time following Victoria Secret around).  Afterwards, the Chief produced a large pipe called a bong, and a ceremonial smoke was had.  Little did the Pilgrims know, that what they had just smoked, would knock them silly!

While they were asleep, the Chief instituted part two of his plan.  He had placed advertisements next to each pilgrim, proclaiming that the following day was "Black Friday", and they must shop.  As they regained consciousness, the Pilgrims found the ads, and not wishing to offend the chief, rushed off in search of bargains.  The chief had rounded up a slew of "merchants" and had them ready to sell cheap junk to the Pilgrims on credit.  Miles and the gang bought the plan hook line and sinker!  They bought a ton of useless junk, took it back home and tried to figure out what to do with it.  A week later, the Chief had a young brave named Mail-eiman bring the bills for their purchases around to each of the Pilgrim's homes.  Upon seeing the cost of what they bought, and knowing there was no way to repay it, they packed up their belongings, and headed back to England.  Well, all except for Victoria Secret, who stayed on, and founded a brothel.  She used to saunter by Chief Justice now and again, and he would point at her and yell: "Ho, Ho, HO!", which began another story of life in the New World, which must be told another time.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll, Geritol, and Depends

I'll admit it, I've always wanted to be a Rock and Roll star.
The life of fame and fortune sure looked a lot more fun than the mundane life of working for a living. World travel, groupies, and a life filled with luxuries seemed so cool to a teenager back then.

I couldn't believe my eyes when one day I stumbled across a photo of a person identified as David Lee Roth. "Diuamond Dave" as he was know was the front man for Van Halen, one of the 80's premiere rock bands. Roth had a swagger that was unmatched by most, and a presence on stage that was electrifying. Imagine my shock when I saw his "now" photo staring back at me!

Apparently, the "good life" is bad for you! To call Roth a "train wreck" almost seems like a complement! Now not all entertainers end up like this, but more than a few do. One of my favorite local bands, Black Oak Arkansas, has a front man, who like Roth, has lost his youthful presence. Jim "Dandy" Mangrum was the model for Roth's persona onstage. It's said that Eddie Van Halen video taped Mangrum's performance for Roth to copy. Now, they both look old and used up. The good life indeed!

I guess that all that wild excess, the parties, and such, have a negative effect on the human body. Too much fun isn't good for you, apparently!
While I wouldn't say I'm in better shape and a whole lot poorer, I guess I didn't do so bad after all!

Friday, November 11, 2011

8 is Enough Already!

I turned on the news the other day, only to learn that the Duggar family from our fair state, was expecting yet another child. Why is this news, you might ask? Well the Duggars are a one family population explosion. They have 19 children as of now, and are expecting another.

Most "normal" families have roughly 2 children per household, and raising them to adulthood is a tough task indeed. Raising twenty is just insane!

The father, Jim Bob, (who's name is an embarrassment to those of us who live here) is in real estate, while the mother, Michelle, is stuck with raising the hoard. All the children's names begin with "J", which is weird in and of itself. I would imagine that with all those kids, they have to be running out of names pretty soon. May I offer: Jerry-Bob, Jezebel-Bob, and Junkyard-Bob?

The Duggar's religion suggests that the Lord is "planting" these children in Michelle, but we all know it ain't the Almighty that's been lifting her nighty! Supporting all those children has to be a real financial burden. Perhaps it's the Tooth Fairy doing the dirty deed, and leaving money under her pillow! After, food isn't cheap!

The family has discovered that all this birthing is a great way to make money. They do interviews, and sign autographs just like celebrities.
I still have a problem with the whole idea.

First off, home schooling 19 children makes for 19 children who know nothing about the real world. They are force-fed religious beliefs, political opinions, and whatever intolerance's the parents have. It's much like trying to clone yourself. The child grows up without the rich education of the real world. Despite all the warts on public education, at least a child meets others from different backgrounds, cultures, and beliefs. Understanding the world around us hinges on our understanding real life, not bible stories.

Forcing the older children to school the younger ones is also a bad idea. Once again, it's reinforcing what the parents believe and ignoring the world around them.

So Michelle will have yet another child soon, and go back to waiting for the lord to leave her "Oinkin' from the Boinkin'" one more time, and the family will go back on tour once again.

How is this different from the "Octomom"? Is there any difference in the two cases? Celebrity status only lasts so long, and while it's fun to stand in the spotlight, think about how the world is overcrowded as it is, and of the thousands of children who need adopting. One day the spotlight will fade, and they will be left struggling like any other family.

I would suggest that Jim-Bob put a lock on the bedroom door, to keep out all the interlopers. for if it ain't the Almighty next time, it might be Rodger the Lodger!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

"The rain on Cain has proved to be a pain"

Meet Herman Cain, yet another of the Republican menagerie of candidates for the 2012 Presidential nomination. Cain has been doing well in the polls lately, but fittingly on Halloween, Cain's skeleton in the closet came out and introduced itself. Cain was at the helm of the Godfathers Pizza chain for some time, before selling it off. He was the head of an association of restaurant owners, when he made sexually offensive remarks to several women. I can only imagine what type of offensive remark he might have made. Did he offer them "Speedy Delivery", or offer to "Hold Their Anchovies"? We'll never know, since once a complaint was made by the women, they were offered a cash sum to keep quiet. First off, if you can afford to pay hush money, you're not representative of the rest of the population. The average citizen would have to own up to the incident, and try to make amends to the offended, not pay them to shut up. Cain attempted to deny the whole thing, and then admit to, perhaps a little wrongdoing. Later, he admitted to a bit more, while still proclaiming his innocence.

Cain is part of a growing number of people seeking the spotlight in the here and now, and not carefully checking their past. To put yourself under the microscope and not remember that skeleton in the closet is a recipe for disaster. If Cain hid this fact, were there others?

Look at John Edwards, another former Presidential candidate. Edwards had an affair that ended up with him "accidentally" getting a new daughter. At first he denied it, but as time passed, he finally admitted to his indiscretion.

Lying about a past incident, paying money to cover it up, then admitting that you might know something, before finally admitting your involvement, is political suicide. Any candidate has to look at their past, before they can look to their future

So tell us Herm, what else did you do.....inquiring minds want to know!

Just remember the words of that famous "Georgia Satellites" song:

"Don't give me no lines, and keep your hands to yourself"!

It's good advice for All candidates!